Before I became a professional photographer, I was a primary school teacher.
Time and time again, I saw how a few simple, well-chosen words could empower a child or equally how poorly-chosen words could belittle them. I am sure that you will easily be able to recollect an incident in your own lives when that has happened: when someone has made you feel as though you can tackle anything the world may throw at you, or conversely when you’ve been knocked down by a throw away comment and you’ve struggled for days, months or even years to heal the resulting dent in your confidence.
With this all in mind, this year, I'm embracing Valentine's Day as an opportunity to empower my daughter by sharing well-chosen words with her to highlight her many wonderful qualities. On each day of February in the run up to 14th, I am adding a new heart to her bedroom mirror: each one, sporting another reason why I love her.
Things like:
‘You give great cuddles’
‘You ask great questions to help you understand’
‘You dance like nobody’s watching!’
I wasn't sure how she'd respond to the idea - she's only 5 after all - but the protracted silence, smile and size of the cuddle that I received when she understood what I was doing was immense, and said so much more than words ever could! Now she runs up the stairs after school each day to look for her latest heart and we read them all again before she goes to sleep (perhaps we’d do well to all have our own list of our best qualities to read to ourselves before bed!)
I know that I am not the perfect mummy (if such a thing even exists!) and that not all my words will be the perfect ones all of the time, but having seen this idea on a Facebook post for ‘raising kids with a growth mindset’ last year, it seemed like something I could easily do, and I am so glad that I took the time to try it.
Why not try something similar with your child? - it doesn’t have to be 14 days worth all in one go, it could be an encouraging note hidden inside their lunchbox to discover at school, a love-heart message on their pillow, celebrating a piece of their art work by sticking it on the fridge, or joyous photos of you all together on display in your home… I can help you with that last bit at least ;-)
I’d love to know what other ideas you have!
